Flaw and Disorder
by Himizu-chan
Summary: There's a conspiracy afoot! Ryouko has gone missing and is presumed to have been murdered. Himizu and Risu accuse Hiei of the murder. Briscoe and Green investigate, McCoy prosecutes, and Kurama tries his best to defend Hiei. But not all is at it seems...
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a fic that Ryouko and I thought up quite a while ago... I wrote the first chapter about three or four years ago, then ended up shelving it as I worked on other projects, or worked on nothing at all... But I recently dug it back up and started working on it and ended up finishing it after only a couple months. So enjoy while I continue to work at my new pet project (which will hopefully be ready for posting sometime in the next month or so, but we'll see since I keep changing my mind about how much I want to have written before I start posting...) and also maybe work on the other fics that I have... I'm currently trying to work on about five other fics right now and I'm not sure how well this is going to work but we shall see... Anyways, I'm rambling again... ignore me. Go read.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Mountain Dew, Law & Order, Panic at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, or anything else I might have mentioned and have now forgotten about.

**_Flaw and Disorder_**

Ryouko, Risu, Himizu were hanging out in Animedom, drinking Mountain Dew. They seemed to be competing over who could drink the most without passing out. Ryouko threw yet another can onto her pile."Things've been too quiet 'ere lately…" she slurred, eyes slowly closing and then popping back open.

"We should do something fun… Get the YYH Cast down here again…" said Risu. She was swaying back and forth in her seat, staring blearily at her can. Ryouko nodded agreement as she sat in a position of meditation on the mushroom chair. Himizu was the only one who "appeared" rational.

"Iknow Iknow Iknow Iknow Iknow Iknow Iknow Iknow Iknow Iknow Iknow Iknow!" she squealed, jumping up and leaping into the air, waving her hand wildly. "Pickme pickme pickme pickme pickme pickme pickme pickme pickme pickme pickme!"

The other two girls looked at her with interest.

"Go on… they said cautiously. Himizu quickly outlined a hellishly complicated plan to drive certain members of the YYH Cast nuts. After a few more cases of Mountain Dew, the plan was perfect. They sealed it with one last can of Mountain Dew. They toasted each other, chugged the can in a single gulp, and simultaneously keeled over.

~A couple days later~

"I agreed to WHAT?"

"You swore on Mountain Dew and the Holy Duck!"

"I WAS DRUNK, DAMNIT!"

"Here's the phone. Here's his number. Shut up and call him."

~A few hours, a couple arguments, and one vicious fight later~

Kurama's phone rings.

"Shuuichi? Phone!"

"Arigatou, kassan… Moshi moshi?"

"Hi Kurama. It's Ryouko. Is Hiei around?"

"Uh…"

"I tried his cell phone, but he didn't answer."

"How did you get our phone numbers?"

"I have connections…"

_That's putting it a bit mildly…_ Kurama thought. _She and her cohorts practically have Enma in their back pockets… when he's not trying to have them murdered…_

"Are you still there?"

"Wha- Yeah, I'm still here."

"So, is Hiei around?"

It was on the tip of Kurama's tongue to say no, but at that moment, he glanced out the window and saw Hiei standing in the tree outside his window.

"I think he's in the neighborhood… will you hold please?"

"Sure."

"Okay, just a minute." Laying the phone down, Kurama walked over to the window and let Hiei in.

"Who are you talking to?" Hiei asked.

"Ryouko. She says she tried to call you, but you wouldn't answer."

"I thought it was a telemarketer."

"I'm surprised you even know what that is. I wouldn't tell her that in any case."

"Right… How the hell did she get our numbers anyways?"

"She says she has connections…"

"Right…" -.-;;; He sighed, but picked up the phone. "Moshi moshi?"

"Hiei?" Yep, that was definitely Ryouko… But she sounded weird… different…

"Are you okay? You don't sound too good…"

"Well, it's hard to talk through a fat lip, courtesy of a mallet-wielding psychotic raccoon…" Hiei could hear a furious Himizu raging in the background, probably still wielding her trusty giant mallet.

"Well, I'm sure you didn't call to tell me that… you two beat each other up all the time…"

"Right. Actually, I wanted to ask you to come over here sometime soon. I just got a haul from my associates in Makai, and I wanted you to come and take a look at the stuff they brought…"

"Here meaning your mansion?"

"Where do you want me to be, Madagascar?"

"Why do I have to come to your funhouse? Why don't you ask Youko? He probably knows more about Makai artifacts then I do."

"Because he's a lying, cheating, Makai-damned bastard!" she said vehemently.

Kurama's sensitive ears caught every word and he twitched nervously. He knew exactly what Ryouko was talking about. Only a few weeks ago, Youko was her most trusted thief and appraiser. But when one of her lesser associates managed to steal the priceless Bachiatari Shugyoku, Youko lied to her, saying that it was nearly worthless. But only hours later, she caught him trying to smuggle the jewel out of the mansion. He was lucky to escape with his life, and he certainly didn't get to keep the jewel. Hiei lifted his eyebrows slightly at Kurama.

"Is that so?" he said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Long story. So, will you come?"

"Sure. When do you want me to come?"

"Uh, is five okay? That gives us a couple hours…"

"Until what?"

"Oh, that's right, we haven't invited you guys yet! Silly me. Well, Himizu, Risu, and I wanted to invite you and Kurama and Yusuke and Kuwabara over to hang out for a little while, around seven or so?"

Covering the mouthpiece with his hand, Hiei relayed the invitation to Kurama, who nodded assent.

"They'll come," he said into the phone.

"Great! So I'll see you at five and the others at seven!"

"Yeah…"

"Okay, see you later!" She hung up.

Hiei hung up Kurama's phone. "I guess I better get going…" he said finally. "But what was she talking about when she was cussing Youko out?"

"He…eh… tried to rip her off… it didn't go very well… she caught him red-handed."

"That was stupid of him then…" Hiei said. "There's no way anyone could get away with something like that around her, or any of those girls."

"Well I know that NOW!" Kurama exclaimed. Hiei rolled his eyes, and then headed off to the mansion.

~At Animedom~

Hiei rang the doorbell, and twitched slightly as "DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!" reverberated throughout the mansion. Their doorbell was so annoying… he would bet everything he owned that Himizu had picked it. He tapped his foot impatiently. Why in the name of everything good in this world were those girls so slow and spastic? Then the door swung open and he was facing Himizu, who had the earphones of her MP3 player plugged into her ears. She was headbanging to some rock song, probably Fall Out Boy or Panic At the Disco if he knew anything about her. And of course, she was wearing a sweatshirt with the Blue Jackets logo… Did she own any clothes that didn't advertise either hockey or a crime show?

"Hey Hiei. You're here to see Ryouko aren't you?"

"Hn…" he said, wondering why she was even talking to him.

"Okay, but you have to answer one question first… When I say shotgun, you say…?"

"…Death?"

"WRONG! WHEN I SAY SHOTGUN, YOU SAY WEDDING! _SHOTGUN… WEDDING! SHOTGUN… WEDDING! Boys will be boys, Hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams_!" She slammed the door in his face, still singing that stupid song. (A/N: I love that song, and I love PATD, but I'm sure Hiei would think it was stupid… stupid Hiei.)

Hiei stared blankly at the door, wondering what kind of drugs Himizu took. Then he heard Ryouko's voice.

"Himizu, who was at the door?"

"A psychotic Easter Bunny disguised as a Jehovah's Witness."

"What the hell are you on?"

"I'm serious. Know how I know? He couldn't answer the question."

"What question?"

"When I say shotgun, you say…?"

"… Murder?"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!" Himizu screamed. Hiei could hear her running away, still screaming. After a moment's pause in which he could picture Ryouko staring blankly after Himizu, the door opened.

"Hi Hiei. Don't mind her. She forgot to take her medication this morning."

"I DON'T TAKE MEDICATION, BAKA!" Himizu screamed at her from wherever she was.

"WELL, YOU SHOULD!" Ryouko screamed back. Hiei hid a grin and followed her through the halls of the mansion. He could sense Himizu's presence ahead of them, and soon he heard a distant door slamming, and moments later he heard a Fall Out Boy CD reverberating through the house.

"Is she trying to blow her eardrums out?" he asked.

"No, I think she's trying to blow out ours…" Ryouko muttered furiously. She opened the door to Himizu's room and poked her head in. The music nearly knocked her over. Himizu was sitting at her computer typing away madly and singing along to Thnks Fr Th Mmrs. "Himizu no baka, turn down the goddamn music!" she yelled.

"What? I can't hear you! Let me turn my music down!" Himizu yelled back. She turned the volume way down. "What?"

"Leave the volume at that level… Hiei and I can't even hear ourselves think."

"Don't think. Use your instincts."

"…You meant that in a perverted way, didn't you?"

"…Possibly…"

"HIMIZU NO BAKA!" Ryouko yelled, beaning Himizu over the head with one of the autographed hockey sticks in the room. Himizu fell over with swirly eyes. Ryouko rolled her eyes in disgust and slammed the door closed behind her as she walked back into the hall. The door to Risu's room opened a crack and they saw her eye peeking out at them.

"Demon child…" she whispered, and slammed the door shut with a loud smack. Ryouko rolled her eyes.

"What nutjobs…" she muttered.

"You're usually almost that bad…" Hiei reminded her.

"…Shut up," she said. They walked into her bedroom. She sat down at her computer chair and Hiei perched cross-legged on her bed. Then she pulled out several artifacts from her desk drawers and they started going over the items and their value, Ryouko taking careful notes the whole time.

~About two hours later~

"DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!" sang the doorbell. BANG! Himizu's door slammed open and she slid right down the banister and crashed headfirst into the front door with another loud BANG! Somehow though, she managed to open the door. Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara all stood on the doorstep and stared down at her.

"Are… you okay, Himizu?" Kurama asked finally.

"Just peachy!" she exclaimed. "But could you help me up?" Kurama obligingly bent and pulled the girl to her feet. "Thanks. The rest of the crew is around here somewhere… cover your ears… COMPANY HAS ENTERED OUR DOMAIN!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Kurama had covered his ears, but his ears still throbbed from the excessive volume of her voice. Yusuke and Kuwabara, like the bakas they are, had not covered their ears, and were deafened at once. Himizu laughed her head off at this.

"Hn… baka onna…" Hiei said, glaring down at them from his perch on the banister of the second floor. He seemed not to notice that Risu was sneaking up behind him. At the last second before she would have caught him and shoved him off the banister, he jumped away from her and slid down the banister with ease. Risu snapped her fingers in annoyance.

"Ryouko! Come on, they're here!" she yelled.

"I got the Mountain Dew!" Himizu squealed. No one had even seen her leave the room, but she was now holding a 24-pack of Mountain Dew in each hand, one more under each arm, and was even balancing one on her head. They all sat down and opened cans while Risu turned on a Linkin Park CD.

"So what should we do tonight?" asked Risu.

"You mean you didn't make any evil plans?" asked Yusuke, surprised.

"Nope, none," said Himizu, fingers crossed behind her back. "Oh for the love of humanity, where is Ryouko? RYOUKO! MOUNTAIN DEW!" she screamed.

"Maybe she's asleep?" Kuwabara suggested as he finally managed to restore his hearing. He was sorry he had since the loud laughter of everyone else in the room deafened him again.

"Seriously, how can anyone sleep with Himizu screaming like a banshee?" asked Risu.

"My screams are more melodious than a banshee I'll have you know!" Himizu exclaimed in annoyance.

"Regardless, perhaps we should make sure that everything's all right?" Kurama suggested.

Risu rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll go look!" She took off at a quick run. There were a few moments of silence, then Risu's screams split the air around them.

"What the heck?" exclaimed Himizu.

"What is that all about?" Hiei wondered.

"Something's wrong, obviously," Kurama said. They all took off up the stairs. In moments they were crowded around Risu at the door to Ryouko's bedroom. Ryouko was definitely not there, but her tan carpet was blotted with an ominous red stain…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own YYH or Law & Order... but Law & Order is now on Netflix, so I am blessed with the ability to watch the old eps whenever I want! Woohoo!

"So when was the last time you saw your friend?" one of the detectives asked. Detective Briscoe was an older man with thin gray hair and a sarcastic way of talking. He and his partner Detective Green, a well-built serious looking black man, were taking statements from everyone while crime scene investigators collected evidence. A portly little cop with an almost comically-oversized black moustache watched the activities of the CSI's and the group of witnesses at the same time.

"The last time I saw her was… several hours ago, around 5…" Risu's voice shook a little as she said this. Himizu nodded in agreement, but her eyes were fixed on the CSI's and the room they were in. Yusuke and Kuwabara said they hadn't seen Ryouko since a few days ago, the last time they'd been at the mansion. Kurama agreed, adding that he had talked to her on the phone earlier that day. This left Hiei in the rather uncomfortable position of being the last person to see Ryouko alive, having left her bedroom at just before 7, right around the time that Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara had arrived. No one else had seen her since then, and her absence had been discovered only minutes later. But the biggest question was… Where was Ryouko?

"Okay, I think our CSI's are almost finished here…" Green said. "Let's go in and see if anything is missing or out of place." They all stepped in. As they did, the CSI's started leaving. They had several short black hairs in bags, samples of the blood, and various other samples and objects.

"Well, anything out of the ordinary?" Briscoe asked.

"You mean besides the large bloodstain?" Risu asked, slightly hysterical. The cops just shrugged.

Himizu peered around. "Hm… I've always wanted this book… and this dolphin statue… and this wolf poster…" she muttered, snatching up each of these items as she spoke. The moustached cop smacked her hand.

"Leave those alone!" he snapped.

"Blah!" Himizu exclaimed, glaring at him.

"Sir, do you mind if I ask you what you were doing in the missing lady's bedroom?" Green asked.

Hiei glared at the cop. There was the very slight problem that he'd been appraising the value of stolen goods for her… but they were from Makai, so how would this guy know anything about them? "I was appraising some items for her that she bought recently," he said flatly.

"Did you happen to see where she put them afterwards?" Briscoe asked.

"One of the drawers at her desk," Hiei replied. Green looked at a CSI who was still lifting prints from the desk drawers.

"Have you opened them yet?" he demanded. The CSI rolled his eyes in disgust at the guy's idiocy, but shook his head. Briscoe opened every single drawer, but none of the artifacts were left.

"Hm…" he muttered suspiciously. "Make sure you get all their prints," he told the CSI. "Now, what exactly was your relationship with the missing person, aside from being her appraiser?"

"She was… she was a friend of sorts, I suppose," Hiei said finally.

"What does that mean?"

"Well… I don't know. We got along fine, I guess. We fought, she and the rest of these girls like to drag us guys into stuff that we're not really interested in, but we're mostly on good terms, I guess…"

"Any romance between the two of you?"

"… … …"

"YES!" Himizu and Risu both exclaimed. Hiei glared at them.

"What? You could cut the sexual tension with a knife!" Himizu exclaimed.

"Yeah, did you honestly think that Ryouko ever let Youko appraise stuff in her BEDROOM?" Risu added. Kurama flinched.

"He'd be way more interested in getting her into bed than in the artifacts if that happened; it proves nothing!" Hiei snapped.

"You haven't denied anything," Briscoe pointed out. Green and the moustached cop nodded. Hiei winced.

"Look, when I heard something crashing around outside, I went to see what it was. Ryouko stayed behind to put the stuff we'd been looking at away. I was going to go back after I realized the noise was just Himizu trying to destroy the mansion by banging into walls, but Risu ended up chasing me downstairs. Ryouko was totally fine when I left her."

Green made some notes, frowning deeply. Yusuke and Kuwabara exchanged glances. Kurama looked as though he didn't know what to think. Finally Green cleared his throat. "Mr. Jaganshi, we would like you to come down to the station for further questioning. Would you like to call a lawyer before we go?" Hiei's eyes widened in horror.

"You're kidding!" he exclaimed. "You've barely started looking for her and you already want to arrest me?"

"Well why not?" Briscoe demanded. "Officer Yakuin, please arrest this man." The mustached cop stepped forward and grabbed Hiei's arms, handcuffing him. Hiei looked desperately at the rest of them. Himizu was ignoring the entire scene and looked rather bored. Risu was watching the whole thing with her head tilted to one side and looking bemused. Yusuke and Kuwabara still seemed rather shocked. Kurama was the only one that was trying to be rational as he stepped forward.

"Let me come along with him. We need to talk."

"Why should we?" asked Briscoe.

"Well I'm his lawyer," Kurama said quickly. Himizu and Risu were suddenly staring at them with interest.

"You're a lawyer? Aren't you a bit young to be a lawyer?"

"Are you kidding, he's a genius!" Himizu exclaimed. "In fact, he's even starting a small law firm!"

"I am?" Kurama asked.

"He is?" Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Hiei all asked.

"Yep, KYK ("kick"). Stands for Kurama, Yusuke, Kuwabara. They'll be defending Hiei I imagine."

"Ah, very good then. Mr. Jaganshi, would you like us to bring all your lawyers with us or just Mr. Minamino?"

"Just… just Kurama…" Hiei said finally, trying to keep himself from destroying everyone and running.

A/N: Yes, it's a short chapter, but you want to review anyways, right?


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Still don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or Law & Order since world domination is taking longer than expected... -coughcough- Do enjoy, I was going to wait until I got a review to post, but it's been two weeks so whatever, screw it, here's a new chapter anyways.

Hiei was handcuffed to a chair in an interrogation room. Kurama sat next to him. The police had been trying to interrogate him, but Hiei had remained stubbornly silent. At last Kurama had a chance to talk with him alone.

"Hiei, tell me the truth… did you do anything to Ryouko?" he demanded in a low voice.

"NO! No, of course I didn't! I was telling the truth earlier. I appraised the artifacts for her, I heard what sounded like 500 elephants crashing around, I went to see what was going on and it turned out it was Himizu crashing around and you guys were there, so I was going to go back and tell Ryouko that you guys were there but Risu showed up so I figured it was easier to just go downstairs. I wish I'd gone back, I really do, then none of this would have happened."

"None of this makes sense though. You were only out of her room for a few moments. Someone or something had to go in there, hurt her bad enough to leave that huge bloodstain, steal the artifacts, and get rid of her body so well the police have no idea where it is, and on top of that leave no evidence that anyone was in that room but you and her… which looks very bad for you. Why WERE you in her bedroom?"

"Because that's where the artifacts were. She led me up there and she sat on her bed and I sat on the desk chair and we talked and that was it."

Kurama lifted one eyebrow and his expression plainly said that he didn't believe a word of Hiei's explanation.

"This wasn't all that unusual; I've been in her room several times when Himizu and Risu are being really annoying. She and I go there and hang out."

"Right…" Kurama muttered.

"We aren't in a relationship!" Hiei exclaimed furiously. "Why does everyone think we are?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Hiei scowled and refused to answer the question. Kurama decided a change of subject was in order. "Look, your arraignment is in two days. Yusuke, Kuwabara, and I will all be there to defend you. The police have a circumstantial case at best, so if you just keep your mouth shut, we should get you out of this mess without any trouble… until Koenma finds out of course…"

"Yeah, where is that bastard? I figured he'd be down here going insane with joy that one of them is gone…" Hiei and Kurama both frowned, mulling that idea over in their heads. Kurama shook his head.

"Something's afoot… I just haven't figured it out yet…"

The cops came back in shortly after and Hiei was escorted back to his cell. Kurama went home to start preparing legal motions.

Two days later, Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara met in the courtroom. Their judge, Judge Saibannin, was a portly old fellow and the rumor was that he was a harsh justice. His stenographer was already seated in front of the judge's bench, a tiny wizened old lady named Ms. Furui. Officer Yakuin escorted Hiei into the courtroom and then stood against the wall nearby. DA McCoy stood at the prosecutor's table. Kurama wondered briefly why the fifth dimension appeared to be populated by so many characters from Law & Order.

"So… in the charge of murder in the second degree, how does the defendant plead?" Judge Saibannin asked.

"Murder in the first degree!" Yusuke exclaimed. Kurama covered his own face with his hand.

"Yusuke, we're trying to DEFEND Hiei, not make him look even guiltier… please don't make this job harder than it already is…"

"The prosecution is of course happy to change the charge to murder in the first degree and thanks the defense for the suggestion," McCoy said dryly.

"I'm sorry, but I have to change the charges to reflect this. The charges are now murder in the first degree," Judge Saibannin said.

Yusuke sat down sheepishly as Hiei glared daggers at him. Kurama focused on the judge. "Your Honor, we'd like to enter a plea of 'not guilty' and we request that the proceedings be delayed for a while to give us more time to prepare the defendant's case."

"Your reasons, Mr. Minamino?" Judge Saibannin asked.

"Sir, even though I have studied law for quite some time, my two companions don't know the first thing about law and I need more time to prepare the case on my own. So I either need more time to adequately prepare for this case or I need a capable assistant… emphasis on the capable part."

Ms. Furui turned her head and coughed feebly. If Kurama hadn't known any better, he would have sworn she was hiding a laugh.

"Well Mr. Minamino, we tried to find you a public defender to help with your case, but unfortunately word of your client's behavior in jail has made its way through legal circles and no one will go near the psychotic midget."

Hiei glared at the judge and several things on his desk spontaneously combusted. Officer Yakuin dashed forward to douse the flames. The judge glared at Hiei.

"Case in point… luckily the DA's office has found you a pair of young students fresh from law school… bright capable young things, but too foolish and inexperienced to know when they should be keeping away from such a career-ruining case as this one."

Kurama winced, but nodded. "That would be acceptable Your Honor."

"Is that alright with you Mr. McCoy?" the judge asked. The prosecutor shrugged and nodded. "Excellent, then I'll have the girls dispatched to your office at once. I'm sure everything will work out quite well."

Kurama was not at all sure about that, but there was nothing to do about it. He then tried to argue that Hiei ought to be released on bail and the judge thought for a while before agreeing. Kurama was very surprised by this, but half suspected that this had something to do with the three mysterious fires that had broken out in the jail since Hiei's incarceration two days ago.

They arrived at the small apartment that was serving as their law office and temporary home until the trial was over. There was a demure librarian-type girl sitting in the hallway when they arrived and she jumped to her feet as they approached. Kurama stared wearily at her. He wasn't in the mood right now to deal with some crazed female. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Nesemono and I'm here to apply for a job as secretary for your law firm!" she said brightly.

"Secretary? Whose idea was this?" Kurama demanded, turning to Yusuke and Kuwabara, who looked away guiltily.

"Well… we hate answering phones and running errands… we figured it'd be better to have a secretary…"

"Miss, I'm very sorry for the confusion, but this would only be for a month or so… maybe less… we really don't need to hire you," Kurama told her.

"That's perfect!" she exclaimed. "I'm actually starting a job in a month, but I need some cash to pay the bills until then."

Kurama sighed. She looked so eager and excited, so he nodded and let her in. A short while later, as the four boys sat in a conference room and Kurama tried for the fifteenth time to explain to Yusuke and Kuwabara what sort of strategy they needed to use, Nesemono poked her head in.

"Excuse me gentlemen, but there are two young ladies here. They say they're law students who were sent over to help with the case."

Kurama sighed. "Very well, show them in."

Two sexy young girls in their 20's with long flowing hair, tiny little tank tops, and cute little miniskirts walked into the room.

"Hello, I'm Petenshi," said the brunette girl.

"And I'm Sagishi," said the blonde. "Do you boys know the first thing about being lawyers?"

Kuwabara and Yusuke were too busy staring and drooling to even consider replying. Hiei's face was impassive as usual. Kurama tried his best to avoid staring at the girls as he frantically started babbling legal technical jargon. The girls listened patiently for a few moments before holding up their hands to stop the babble.

"Do you guys drink?" Sagishi asked. Yusuke and Kuwabara looked as though they couldn't believe their ears. Kurama looked as though he was about to pass out with horror. Hiei, as usual, had a perfect poker face, although one eyebrow did arch a little. Petenshi smiled innocently at them.

"Then you'll be great lawyers!" she declared. She and Sagishi pulled out a bottle of vodka, mixed a couple shots with some lemonade, then drained the glasses in just a few seconds. "Alright, let's get to work!" Petenshi exclaimed and she and Sagishi fist-bumped and sat down at the conference table. Kurama groaned softly.

"We're so doomed…"


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: For some reason hanging out and working on fanfics at ungodly hours with Risu reminds me that I should post another chapter of this fic... So here it is. Please review!

Kurama's sense of doom had not vanished at all by the next morning. Petenshi and Sagishi were clearly intelligent girls, since they had brilliantly argued with all of Kurama's strategies for defending Hiei. However they had been utterly unhelpful in actually coming up with a real strategy and had spent most of the evening challenging Yusuke and Kuwabara to drinking games. Kurama and Hiei had barely slept the entire night what with the noise of drunken people, and it was lucky for them that Nesemono woke them up and gave them half a chance to make it to the trial on time. It didn't take long for Kurama and Hiei to discover that the rest of their team was passed out drunk, so the decision was made to leave them behind to recover, and they headed for the courthouse.

DA McCoy stood outside the courtroom with his assistant DA, Abby. "You're missing your associates, Mr. Minamino," he observed dryly.

"Yes, those young law students your office recommended find considerably more joy in the bottom of a bottle than in the pages of a text book," Kurama retorted dryly.

They all went into the courtroom and Judge Saibannin directed McCoy to call his first witness. He called Detective Briscoe, who described being called to the mansion because of a missing girl, and how he and Detective Green had quickly determined that there was no way that anyone but Hiei would have had time to harm the girl and cause her to disappear in the short time before her absence was discovered. In fact, since Hiei had been the only one to see Ryouko for almost two full hours, he clearly had plenty of time to kill her, hide her body, and steal her artifacts.

"Objection, calls for speculation!" Kurama exclaimed.

"Your Honor, Detective Briscoe's job calls for him to rationally analyze the scenes he is confronted with. It may be speculation, but it certainly seems to be the most reasonable explanation, unless the defense is proposing that aliens came along and abducted the young lady."

"Your Honor!" Kurama spluttered. "Mr. McCoy isn't even letting me present a defense, he's apparently decided that any other explanation would be absurd and the jury is being unfairly prejudiced against my client!"

"Mr. Minamino, you will have your turn to defend your client. Mr. McCoy, please keep your opinions to yourself and continue questioning your witness," Judge Saibannin exclaimed. Ms. Furui shook her head sadly as she continued tapping away on her machine.

Detective Green was called to the stand as well and his testimony mirrored his partner's. Then several evidence technicians were called, testifying that there was no evidence that anyone had been in the room recently besides Ryouko and Hiei. Kurama did his best to emphasize the fact that the tests on the red stain from the floor had not been conclusively proved to be blood at all, much less Ryouko's blood, but it was clear that the pictures of the large dark stain on the floor contrasting with the otherwise pleasant looking bedroom of a young lady in the prime of her life were incredibly damning in their own right.

Kurama leaned back in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair. He hated to admit it, but he was beginning to fear that he would fail his friend. The physical evidence was very incriminating, and even though he accepted that Hiei hadn't done anything to harm Ryouko, he had no way of convincing the judge or jury of this fact.

"Your Honor, for my final pieces of evidence, I ask the court to be allowed to play taped statements from the two primary witnesses in this case," McCoy said.

"Objection, why can't the witnesses come to the courtroom to give their statements so that I have the opportunity to question them myself?" Kurama demanded, a sinking feeling developing in the pit of his stomach. There were only two people he could think of outside Hiei and their sad excuse for a legal team that could be considered primary witnesses, and knowing them, this wasn't going to be pretty.

"Who are the witnesses Mr. McCoy and why can't they appear?" Judge Saibannin asked.

"They are Himizu and Risu, and they decline to come out in public for reasons this court has acknowledged in the past, plus they are mourning the loss of their dearest friend."

"Dearest friend my ass… wouldn't half surprise me if those idiots managed to kill Ryouko themselves…" Hiei muttered under his breath. Officer Yakuin glared at him, oversized moustache twitching comically, from his post next to the defense table.

Despite Kurama's protests, the taped statements were allowed into evidence and played before the jury. The first one was Risu. The tape showed the girl sitting in a large armchair. They could hear McCoy off camera asking her questions.

"Okay Miss Risu, I realize this is difficult for you after your recent loss, but I need to ask you about some things. First, what was Hiei's relationship with Ryouko?"

"Oh I don't know… I never paid much attention to it… I just went along with all the jokes that Himizu made…" Risu said, tears appearing in her eyes. "It was just so easy to make fun of them since they were together all the time…"

"Is Hiei capable of violence?"

"Oh, absolutely! He's crazy! He's tried to kill Himizu about a hundred times already, but Ryouko always stopped him."

"Is he capable of violence towards Ryouko?"

Now Risu hesitated. "Anything's possible I guess… I don't know though… I've never seen him try to hurt her… they argued all the time though."

"These fights never turned violent?"

"No more so than any arguments between anyone else living here."

"According to a statement you gave at the scene, you chased Hiei down the stairs before you discovered Ryouko missing. What time did this occur?"

"It was just a minute or two after 7:00."

"Was anyone else upstairs to your knowledge?"

"No… the only other person in the house was Himizu and she was downstairs letting Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara inside."

"Did you see or hear Ryouko during that time?"

"No."

"So you have no proof that she was alive at that time?"

Risu bit her lip and shook her head, then turned away from the camera to wipe tears from her eyes.

"And how long between the time you went downstairs and the time it took you to go back upstairs and discover your friend missing?"

"It wasn't long… Less than ten minutes."

"Is there anything else you'd like to say?"

"Well I suppose it's just possible that someone could have come in and hurt Ryouko… it was awfully loud… Himizu had been crashing around and was being a nut as usual…"

"But you didn't see anyone?"

"No."

"That will be all then."

Risu nodded miserably and got up and left. After a few moments, Himizu walked in and sat down. Unlike Risu, she was actually wearing a mourning outfit, but it was an old-fashioned one with a large black hat with a small veil on it. Hiei snorted softly when he saw her exaggerated display of grief. Kurama sighed. Risu's testimony hadn't been particularly damning, which had surprised him a little. Himizu was a whole different kettle of fish. Between her flair for the dramatic, the fact that she and Ryouko were closer than sisters (contrary to all the times they'd fought and tried to kill each other), and her general batshit insanity, she was an unpredictable wild card and it was impossible to say what shenanigans she would try to pull.

"Himizu, I appreciate you agreeing to speak to me. What time did Hiei arrive at your home?"

"It was around 5 I believe… I let him in and he met up with Ryouko. I saw them together for a minute, then… that was the last time I saw her…" She let out a soft whimper.

"Did you see anything that gave you any indication that Hiei planned to use violence against Ryouko?"

"Not then, no. I know she said she was going to show him some artifacts, but for all I know, that was just a ruse to get him in her bedroom… not that she needed a ruse of course."

"Could you clarify that statement please?" McCoy asked.

"I would be happy to. You see, Ryouko and Hiei have been involved in a relationship for quite some time."

There was a bang behind them, and Hiei didn't even have to turn around to know what had happened. Of course Yusuke and Kuwabara would decide to show up just as Himizu made that declaration.

"And did Ryouko or Hiei tell you this directly?"

"Well no, but Ryouko was my best friend. I could always tell when something was up. She was crazy about Hiei for reasons that I could never comprehend, and they spent so much time together… seriously, he was at our house all the time and the two of them were always closeted away somewhere… I'd have to be a complete idiot not to connect the dots…"

"No, you're a complete idiot for imagining dots that aren't even there, baka ningen onna…" Hiei grumbled under his breath. Kurama was so surprised that he had continued with Himizu's metaphor that he didn't even try to stop Hiei's quiet protest.

"And then there was that time that Hiei spent the night in Ryouko's bedroom…" Himizu continued.

Hiei jumped to his feet. "I can't believe you're letting these lies be played!"

"Mr. Jaganshi, you will have your chance to defend yourself. Kindly allow your attorney to register protests on your behalf!" Judge Saibannin scolded him. Kurama gently tugged on the back of Hiei's cloak to make him sit down.

On camera, Himizu hesitated. It was as though she's known exactly what sort of uproar her remarks would cause. Then she continued speaking. "Actually, he's spent at least a couple of nights in Ryouko's bedroom… and those are just the ones I know about. They couldn't keep their hands off each other."

"LIES!" Hiei exclaimed, jumping to his feet once again. Judge Saibannin banged his gavel repeatedly.

"ORDER! Order in my courtroom! Mr. Minamino, put a leash on your client."

"We tried Your Honor, but he chewed them all up," Kurama deadpanned as he stood up and gently pushed Hiei down into his seat again. "I know she's doing nothing but lying through her teeth, and I wish I could cross-examine her… but let's face it, she'd probably run rings around me if I tried, and you'll get to tell your side of the story soon, so just relax before you end up in even more trouble," Kurama hissed in Hiei's ear.

"Miss Himizu, did you see Ryouko and Hiei together at all after you let him in?"

"Yes, briefly. She came into my room to ask me to turn my music down because she and Hiei couldn't hear themselves think. I realized I was ruining the mood for them, so I did turn my music down and I left them alone. I didn't see either of them again until around 7 when Risu chased Hiei downstairs and it wasn't long after that that we discovered Ryouko was missing."

"Do you have anything else you would like to add?" McCoy asked.

"Yes I do… Ryouko was a wonderful person and my closest friend. I don't know what happened that night, whether it was a lover's quarrel or whether Hiei just decided that he was tired of her, or whether his affections were just a ruse to steal from her… but I do know that if Hiei's guilty, I want him punished for taking my best friend in the world away from me." Himizu began to sob softly, but Kurama found it odd that her cheeks remained dry. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was going on with this case that he was missing.

McCoy stood up at the prosecutor's table. "Your Honor, the prosecution rests."

"Very well. Mr. Minamino, you may call your first witness."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: So I'm pretty much just posting this now cuz I've decided I'm not posting from my newest fanfic until this one is completely published even if I still don't have any reviews. So yeah... whatever. Don't own YYH or Law & Order or anything else I may have forgotten that I mentioned...

Kurama's first task as defense lawyer was to try to refute as much of the physical evidence as he possibly could. To that end, he called a number of expert witnesses who yammered about evidence transfer and how the evidence merely showed that Hiei had been in the room, which he'd already freely admitted (not that he had a choice after the testimony of Risu and Himizu, but still…). There was no evidence at all that showed he had stolen anything or harmed Ryouko in any way. Then he called several more witnesses to talk about the dark stain in Ryouko's carpet and how it couldn't be proved to be blood. Kurama wasn't sure what he was going for, but there was a chance that the stain wasn't blood and it was the best thing he had. However McCoy's cross-examination ended up placing a ludicrous spin on the entire proceedings, making it appear that Kurama believed Ryouko was alive and in hiding, which both Kurama and Hiei felt could have been possible, although without seeing Risu and Himizu's behavior personally, it was hard to say for sure.

Finally Kurama had exhausted all possibilities for physical evidence and he could tell that the jury wasn't buying it. He realized that something drastic would have to be done and that a huge gamble would have to be taken.

"Mr. Minamino, do you have any more witnesses?" Judge Saibannin asked. Kurama hesitated, thinking quickly. Biting his lip, he made a crucial decision and stood up. Ms. Furui leaned forward to hear what he would say, fingers poised to type in his words.

"Your Honor, I would like to call Hiei Jaganshi to the stand."

The courtroom began to rumble with surprised murmurs. Officer Yakuin shifted uneasily from his position next to the defense table. Ms. Furui and Judge Saibannin both leaned forward as though they couldn't believe their ears. McCoy and Abby looked as though a bomb had been dropped on their table. Yusuke and Kuwabara just stared stupidly, not realizing the seriousness of Kurama's decision. Hiei understood though and he was staring at Kurama in horror, wondering if the fox had lost his mind.

Judge Saibannin glanced at McCoy to make sure the DA had no objections to this surprise witness, but McCoy certainly wasn't going to pass up this gift on a silver platter. Judge Saibannin called for a 10 minute recess before Hiei took the stand, giving Hiei a perfect opportunity to confer with his lawyer. This is a polite term for freaking the hell out.

"Are you nuts? You want me to be cross-examined by that guy?" Hiei hissed.

"Not really, but it's the only chance we have to get the jury on your side."

Hiei lifted an eyebrow. He knew the impression he made on people and this seemed like a step backwards to him. Kurama sighed.

"I know it's a long shot but it's really the only chance we have to get your out of here," he said. "At least at the end of the day I'll feel like I did everything in my power to help you."

"It's enough," was all Hiei said, but it was more that Kurama had expected.

The court was soon back in session and Kurama was soon guiding Hiei through a timeline of events from the moment he'd received Ryouko's phone call to the moment that Ryouko had been discovered missing. Hiei explained that going to Ryouko's room wasn't really unusual and that they often did that because the mansion had a tendency to be noisy and chaotic and her room was a quiet oasis where they could talk or watch movies or whatever in relative peace.

"What about the things that Himizu was saying?" Kurama asked. Hiei bit his lip. Kurama hesitated visibly before continuing. "Is it true that you spent a night in Ryouko's bedroom?"

Hiei continued chewing on his lower lip. He'd known that night would come back to haunt him. "Yes, I did. But nothing happened. We were watching movies together and we ended up falling asleep during one of the movies and didn't wake up until Himizu stormed into the room the next morning and saw us together. She jumped to conclusions of course, but they were wrong." He remembered Ryouko jumping up and chasing Himizu through the entire mansion with a baseball bat screaming threats and insults the entire time. Not that it mattered of course, since it was his word against Himizu's.

"And the part about you two not being able to keep your hands off each other?" Kurama asked.

"More lies from that insane girl's pathetic excuse for a brain. Ryouko and I were friends, nothing more. We occasionally acted more than friendly to provoke a reaction from her, and one time we had to pretend to be dating because Himizu forced us to, but that was it." (A/N: See Inside the House for that story)

"Ryouko was perfectly fine when you left her that evening?"

"Yes. We were sitting and talking when we heard what sounded like the mansion collapsing around us, then we realized it was only Himizu, so Ryouko suggested I go see what she was doing and that she would be downstairs in a minute. So I went, saw that you and Yusuke and Kuwabara had arrived, then I started to go back to tell Ryouko, but Risu chased me down the stairs before I could do that."

Kurama frowned slightly. "Wait… Ryouko told you to see what Himizu was doing?" Hiei nodded. "That's odd…" Kurama muttered. "Why wouldn't see go herself, if only to throw a rock or similar blunt object at Himizu? She would never pass up that opportunity…"

Hiei shrugged. "I don't know, I didn't really think about it at the time."

Kurama's frown deepened. Once again he could feel something tugging at his brain…something was missing in this case, and if he could only figure out what it was… "Any final remarks?" he asked.

Hiei hesitated. What could he do or say? Plead his innocence? "Ryouko… she was a very good friend. She was nice and she was interesting. I wish I knew what happened to her. I wish I hadn't left her alone. Maybe I could have stopped whatever happened. But I wasn't there and now she's gone and I have to live with that." He closed his eyes and drew in a slow breath.

Kurama waited a moment to see if Hiei was going to say anything else, but the short demon was staring down at his hands. Kurama marveled at the evident sorrow Hiei was showing, but he couldn't remark on it. He just nodded to DA McCoy. "Your witness, sir," he said politely. McCoy stood up.

"So you continue to deny killing Ryouko?"

"Of course," Hiei said.

"You didn't kill her, didn't dispose of her body, didn't steal her artifacts?"

"I did not do any of those things."

"How much were these artifacts worth?"

Hiei thought for a moment. Ryouko had been taking notes in a notebook. Had that notebook still been there when the cops arrived? Yes, it had. So McCoy had seen the notebook and this was a test of truthfulness. "I can't recall offhand, but it was in the hundreds of thousands… maybe in the neighborhood of 700,000?" he guessed. It wasn't really a guess, he knew the final number, but being too precise would probably be almost as suspicious as pretending not to have any idea.

"759,420 to be exact. Not bad Mr. Jaganshi. That's a fair sum of money isn't it? You could do a lot with that money, couldn't you?"

"I suppose one could… I don't need it though, I have simple needs and a steady income, so I don't need her money. If I needed money, she'd probably have loaned it to me since that's the kind of friend she was."

Kurama nodded approvingly. This was the right approach, to keep mentioning their friendship and emphasize that Hiei had no reason in the world to want Ryouko dead.

"In other words, she was far more valuable alive, is that your claim? Do you always view the people around you in such materialistic terms?" McCoy demanded.

"That is not what I said at all, don't twist my words like that," Hiei said, fighting to keep calm. The DA was smart, trying to provoke him into showing signs of rage, which would then be paraded before the jury as evidence of how unstable he was or some nonsense. "She was my friend, that was her value. I only mentioned the money so you'd stop using that as my supposed motive."

Kurama leaned forward slightly. Hiei was getting a little snappy, that could be bad. He glanced at Yusuke and Kuwabara, but they were both starting slack-jawed at Hiei, unable to believe some of the things he'd said on the witness stand.

"Well then you were motivated by love… or lust, whichever the case may be. So which was it, Mr. Jaganshi? Did she reject your advances? Did you reject hers?"

"No, damnit," Hiei snarled. Kurama flinched, hoping Hiei could keep his temper in check. "She had some crazy crush on me when we first met, but she got over it and we were able to be friends. Neither of us made any _advances_…" That last word laced with contempt. "And even if there had been, there is no way that she could ever have made me angry enough to kill her."

"How many people have you killed in your lifetime, Mr. Jaganshi?" McCoy asked.

Hiei was stunned for a moment. "I… what? What did you just ask me?"

"I asked you how many people have you killed in your lifetime."

"OBJECTION!" Kurama practically screamed, shaking himself free of the shock that had gripped him in an icy vice when McCoy first asked the question.

"On what grounds?" Judge Saibannin asked.

Kurama couldn't think of what to say for several moments. It just seemed so obvious to him that for a moment he couldn't figure out how to justify it. "Speculation, I don't know! Does the DA have any evidence at all that my client has committed a single crime in his life? If he does, I would very much like to know about it."

McCoy held up a brown manila envelope. Kurama and Hiei exchanged confused glances for a moment, then Kurama demanded a sidebar. They retreated to the judge's chambers, trailed by Ms. Furui. Once there, McCoy laid out his envelope, containing several documents and photographs showing several examples of Hiei stealing and murdering. Kurama scanned the photos, and realized to his surprise that they were all of humanoid demons, so to these people it appeared that Hiei had killed several other humans and robbed them, perfectly fitting with McCoy's profile that Hiei was some sort of criminal lunatic.

"Where did you get these documents?" Kurama demanded.

"My source has to remain confidential," McCoy replied.

"No they don't! This is a court of law! For all I know, these are doctored images and records created by one of my client's enemies! They could have been made by Himizu!"

Kurama spotted the slight tic in McCoy's eye when he mentioned Himizu's name. Clearly the young lady had made plenty of trouble for the citizens living in the fifth dimension. Of course the tic could also be a reaction to hearing the name of his source spoken out loud…

"If Mr. McCoy refuses to tell us where he got this information from, then I move that this evidence be kept out of the courtroom," Kurama said calmly, looking towards the judge for support. To his surprise, Judge Saibannin was nodding.

"I agree with Mr. Minamino. The evidence will not be allowed in the courtroom." And with that, they all headed back to the courtroom where Judge Saibannin made his judgment public. "The prosecution's evidence will not be allowed in the courtroom. All mention will be struck from the record, and the jury is instructed to disregard the questions relating to it. Please take another line of question, Mr. McCoy."

Kurama was watching the jury as the judge made his declaration and suddenly he realized the truth. It didn't really matter whether the jury actually saw the evidence. They had heard that there was evidence that Hiei had murdered several other people. The fact that they were being instructed to forget it was irrelevant. Without even seeing any evidence, they had made up their mind that Hiei was a criminal and that the evidence proving it was being struck on a technicality. And now that Kurama had made the evidence ineligible, he had no way to remove the prejudice that McCoy had lodged firmly in their minds. McCoy seemed impassive, but the corner of his mouth kept twitching and Kurama knew he was trying to repress a smile. Whether the evidence was admitted or not had been irrelevant to the DA. His job was basically done at this point. He asked Hiei a few more questions, mostly concerning his relationship with Ryouko of course. Hiei's answers were calm and polite, but Kurama could sense the undercurrent of disdain and hatred Hiei was feeling for the prosecutor, and hoped very much that the jury didn't feel the same thing. Although at this point, it probably didn't matter much anyways.

Kurama felt a sense of hopelessness creep over him. Even though he knew with certainty that Hiei hadn't harmed Ryouko, the jury seemed to buy into every word that came out of McCoy's mouth. Everything Kurama had done had been completely ineffective. Several members of the jury were openly glaring at either Hiei or at him (presumably for being crazy and heartless enough to defend this clearly deranged homicidal maniac). McCoy finally stopped questioning Hiei and nodded to Kurama. Judge Saibannin peered down from his seat.

"Mr. Minamino, would you like a redirect?"

Kurama thought for a moment, then shook his head. There was nothing left to say, no questions left to ask. There was nothing to do but let the jury deliberate, and they were sure to find Hiei guilty at this point. Even Koenma was powerless in this realm, so there was no chance that he could step in to save Hiei. Again he wondered why Koenma hadn't appeared, since the young prince could still appear in the fifth dimension, even if his powers had no lasting consequences here. Still, Ryouko was a Ningenkai mortal and her death should have caused at least some sort of reaction from Reikai… even if it was only in order to throw a party that one of the crazy girls who had tormented them for so long was gone.

"Does the defense have any more witnesses to call?" Judge Saibannin asked.

"No, Your Honor," Kurama said as Hiei settled himself next to him, having left the witness stand while Kurama was lost in thought.

"Then it's time for the jury to deliberate." And the judge proceeded to give several instructions to the jury regarding severity of sentencing and punishments and etc. etc. Finally the jury stood up and filed out to deliberate.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Here it is! The last chapter! Woohoo! I suppose it's too much to ask for a review for this chapter since this fic still doesn't have any reviews and I don't have a clue what people are thinking about it, but oh well. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Yusuke and Kuwabara had started playing Go Fish. Hiei was resting with his head on the table in front of him and appeared to be asleep. Kurama was sitting and reading a large law book, seeking an avenue for appeal. Part of him was wondering if he was being pessimistic by preemptively worrying about the appeals process, but he could not shake the overwhelming sense that he'd failed to prove his best friend's innocence.<p>

Judge Saibannin had vanished back to his chambers and Ms. Furui was sitting at her small desk with a laptop. Officer Yakuin was still standing calmly next to the defense table, making sure Hiei didn't decide to make a break for it. McCoy and Abby had left and Kurama had overheard them talking about getting some lunch while they waited for the verdict. Hearing the door to the courtroom open, Kurama turned and saw their quiet secretary, Nesemono, step in tentatively, glancing around with wide uncertain eyes. She spotted him and scampered over.

"Sir! I heard that the jury had gone back to deliberate! How do you think things went?"

"Not well at all," Kurama said grimly. "What happened to Sagishi and Petenshi?"

"They were here earlier," Nesemono replied. "They said they were in the back watching the proceedings. They stopped by the office to tell me that the jury was out."

"Why didn't they tell me they were here?" Kurama growled. "Not that I think they would have done much good, but they were assigned to the case to help create a legal strategy, not to get drunk and hide out in the back of the courtroom while being spectacularly unhelpful." Nesemono shrugged helplessly.

"I can go see if they came back?" she said finally. Kurama nodded tiredly and waved her away. Let her think she was helping, he decided. He actually hoped she didn't find those utterly useless legal aides.

The jury walked in a very short time later. Judge Saibannin nodded to Hiei. "Will the defendant please rise?" he asked. Hiei stood, as did Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara. They all faced the jury and waited for the sentence.

"We the jury… find the defendant… Hiei Jaganshi… guilty… of murder in the first degree."

Kurama was stunned and horrified. He had figured that at least they would have reduced the charges to murder in the second or third degree… he thought he had conclusively established that it wasn't premeditated and was more likely a crime of passion than anything else. Nothing bad enough for…

"And the sentence?" the judge asked.

"We the jury… believe that the defendant… Hiei Jaganshi… should be sentenced… to death," the foreman said.

Hiei looked down at the floor. Kurama was frozen with total shock. Even Yusuke and Kuwabara had taken a break from their normal carefree attitudes to be stunned by the verdict."

"This can't be right… this isn't happening…" Kurama whispered. "This just isn't possible."

Judge Saibannin nodded solemnly, then turned to Hiei. "You have heard the verdict. Now all that remains is to choose whether to uphold the jury's recommendation or to modify your sentence somewhat." There was a short but significant pause. "I might be willing to commute your sentence from death to life with possibility of parole…" Here the crowd in the courtroom uttered soft gasps of surprise and possibly dismay. "I will do this if, and only if, you make a full confession now."

"A confession," Hiei repeated slowly.

"Yes, a simple confession. You will confess to your relationship with Ryouko and then what drove you to kill her."

Hiei shook his head. "There's nothing to confess to. There was no relationship and I never harmed a hair on her head, much less kill her."

"Mr. Jaganshi, this is your best chance to escape the death penalty," Judge Saibannin said patiently. Kurama leaned over to whisper in Hiei's ear.

"You should do it. Make something up. We have no way to appeal this, so just save yourself. It's not a big deal."

"It's a big deal to me. I would be lying if I confessed to these things and I'm not going to do it. I don't care if I die, it would be an insult to Ryouko's memory to give in to these lies," Hiei said, standing as straight as he could and staring coldly at the judge.

"This is your last chance Jaganshi. If you do not confess, you will be executed by the end of the month."

"I don't care. I have nothing to confess." Nothing that this court cared about anyways…

There was a stunned silence, then Ms. Furui threw her stenography machine to the floor and jumped up on her little table.

"I don't believe this! I literally do not believe this! He won't confess even to save his own life! I can't believe she was right! I'm going to strangle her!"

And just like that, the pieces started falling into place in Kurama's brain. "Oh you have got to be kidding me…" he groaned. Then the door to the courtroom flew open. As Kurama turned, he noticed that Officer Yakuin was not standing next to the table as usual. And then he saw Ryouko herself come striding into the courtroom, still holding the large fake moustache she had been wearing.

Hiei stared at Ryouko as though he were seeing a ghost. Then he turned back to the front of the courtroom. Risu was now sitting on the judge's bench and Himizu was standing on Furui's table. As Hiei fumed at them, the entire courtroom faded around them and they were standing in a field. Animedom could be seen in the distance. There was silence for several moments, then an aura of fire appeared around Hiei as he focused all his attention on Himizu.

"You!" he exclaimed furiously. "I know you're responsible for this!" He conjured up fireballs in each hand, prepared to totally destroy the girl, but Ryouko ran forward and threw her arms around him.

"I'm sorry about that Hiei, but it was part of an argument that we had…"

"Isn't everything?" he demanded, glaring at the three girls. The fireballs disappeared though and his hand briefly held her shoulder before she let go of him and stepped back to explain.

"Basically we got into another argument about this stupid relationship thing we supposedly have…" Here Ryouko paused to glare at Himizu, who stuck out her tongue. "And this time it got to the point where Himizu said that if you were on the brink of death then you might confess your love for me, and Risu agreed with her… And I said that you wouldn't because we don't have a relationship and you wouldn't confess especially if you were about to die… And then Himizu said that you would if you thought I was dead and you had nothing to lose by admitting it. And Risu agreed with her again, so we argued about it and we realized that the only way that this argument could be settled was to set up a way to test this theory… and this seemed like the most efficient way." She grinned sheepishly. Himizu and Risu were wearing identical evil grins. Yusuke and Kuwabara stared stupidly at the three girls. Kurama put his head into his head, muttering furiously to himself. Hiei sighed and rolled his eyes.

"You stupid girls… that's really the only reason you did this?" he asked finally.

"Yep! That is absolutely the only reason. And the experiment was a complete failure and I'm terribly disappointed in you, Hiei. Clearly you are the worst lover in the entire world," Himizu declared. "You can't even confess your love when it would save your own freaking life!"

"There's nothing to confess, you moron! I told you that before this thing even started!" Ryouko screamed at her.

"I still think he would have confessed if we had held a gun to his head…" Risu muttered.

Kurama snorted. "Risu, I didn't realize you were suicidal… you know Hiei would kill you if you threatened him like that."

"Well that was actually going to be a last resort. We were going to burn him at the stake, but then we realized that he's a fire demon and would survive. So we were going to hang him, but then we realized he would burn the rope. Then we were going to have him executed by the firing squad, but then we realized that he would just dodge all the bullets. Then we were going to put him in the gas chamber, but then we realized he would just blow it up and probably somehow cause an explosion. Then we were going to give him a lethal injection, but then we realized that since his heart doesn't beat since he's a demon, we didn't know if his circulatory system would adequately move the drugs through his body. How does that work anyways? Without beating hearts, your blood should just pool in whatever the lowest point of your body is, so your body should be oxygen-starved…"

"Why have you been sitting around coming up with ways to kill Hiei?" Kurama demanded. "Just how far were you planning on taking this experiment?" Risu got a nervous look on her face and started muttering incoherently.

Hiei shook his head. "So you put me through all that shit, are you happy now?"

"For now…" Himizu said, laughing evilly. "Come on Risu, we have more evil plans to design!"

"Yay, mass destruction! Chaos! Anarchy!" Risu cheered. She and Himizu took off at a dead run back to Animedom. Hiei considered chasing them or throwing fireballs at them, but he caught Ryouko's eye and she shook her head.

"Look, I know you're probably furious with me right now, but it wasn't that hellish was it? And you know that even though they piss me off all the time, I will destroy you if you kill them…"

"Yeah, I know…" he grumbled. Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara had started following the girls back to the mansion, so Hiei and Ryouko also started walking in that direction. They walked in silence for a moment before Ryouko glanced at Hiei.

"Spit it out… I know you have something on your mind," she said.

He barely stopped to wonder how she knew he was thinking about something. "Was it really necessary to fake your own death? I was really worried about you, do you realize that?"

"Yeah, I know… I didn't want to do that, I thought it was a little much…"

"Try a lot much…"

"Yeah well…" Ryouko trailed off as she stared at the mansion. "Oh, what the hell?" she groaned, pointing to the plume of smoke that was coming from the mansion or the nearby grounds. Hiei saw it too, and he scooped her up in his arms and ran the rest of the way to the mansion. They arrived to find that Risu had somehow set part of the mansion on fire. Kuwabara and Yusuke had somehow been knocked unconscious, Kurama looked as though he would need a whole bottle of aspirin to get rid of his headache, and Himizu was screaming and swearing at Risu, who just laughed maniacally. Ryouko and Hiei looked at each other for a moment.

"By the way," Hiei said casually, as though they weren't surrounded by chaos and fire, "were you girls also the law assistants and secretary?"

"Of course," Ryouko said with a grin. "We needed to be able to keep an eye on you guys at all times and make sure you didn't do anything too crazy that would mess up all our plans. I was Sagishi, Himizu was Petenshi, and Risu was Nesemono. Now would you please put this fire out before we have to do extensive repairs on our mansion? Not that we can't afford it or anything, but it would be really annoying."

Hiei snorted with laughter, but he did quench the flames. Risu looked furious that the fire was gone, but was distracted when Himizu pulled a toy squirrel out of nowhere and threw it into a nearby koi pond that the girls had installed a while ago. Risu dove in after the squirrel and reappeared to shriek furiously at Himizu for daring to harm a beloved and sacred squirrel. Himizu yelled back that the squirrel was only a toy anyways and didn't need to be treated like it was made of glass. At that point, Kurama lost his temper and knocked their heads together before dragging them into the mansion by their ears. Ryouko and Hiei dragged and kicked Yusuke and Kuwabara into the mansion, then abandoned them in the entryway. Then everyone who was not unconscious went into one of the rooms with a TV to watch movies and eat snacks for hours at a time.

However all good things must come to an end, so Kurama finally said it was time to head back to their homes. He went to wake up Yusuke and Kuwabara, and Risu and Himizu followed eagerly to poke the boys with sticks or something else involving torture. Hiei started to follow them, but Ryouko grabbed his wrist and held him for a moment.

"Hiei… wait."

He turned to look at her. She smiled at him.

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"You know what," she said, drawing him into a long hug. He held her close for a moment then glanced up and stared directly at one of the hidden cameras that Himizu had installed in several rooms of the house in one of her many attempts to catch proof of Hiei and Ryouko's relationship. Ryouko held him tightly for a moment, and he could feel her shaking with laughter.

"Messing with Himizu's head will never get old, will it?" he asked her, feeling very glad that Himizu's cameras didn't also have audio.

"No. Never. Someday I may be able to drive her brain completely off the rails," she added with a giggle.

"That would be worth watching…" Hiei admitted with a grin.

"Are you guys making out?" Himizu yelled.

"No, retard! How many times do I have to say it?" Ryouko screamed back at her. She winked at Hiei and they ran to the entryway to rejoin their friends.

* * *

><p>AN: Yes, it's true. It's all a conspiracy. Thus proving that I'm incapable of writing any kind of romance unless the characters happen to have ulterior motives…

Anyways, Ryouko and I came up with the idea for this fic ages and ages ago, and it was mostly just that we would fake Ryouko's death and put Hiei on trial and spoof Law & Order a little. Obviously it became much more complicated than that, but that's what happens when you actually sit down and write a fic! So I've been working on this on and off for like two years now and it's finally done, which is awesome!


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